Done: Being silly in real life

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One of the things I'm kind of proud is being as silly in real life as I'm in my head. Despite my air of nonchalance I'm actually quite controlled.

The thing is my way of communicating is often complex (you can tell I'm one of those people that ramble a lot) and when I am at my most humorous I'm sarcastic. I'm often concerned about things like my accent, my word choice and what face I'm making. That zaps away a part of my personality that is less concerned with being an adequate communicator or a gifted verbal jouster and more into laughing at something, someone or myself.



I mean, I know I'm not supposed to laugh at words like "poop" or make fun of people that get on my nerves. Since I was 10, I've felt like I had to act like a grown up.

That kind of thing would be alright if I didn't feel like those things were funny. Sometimes I think that kind of humor is idiotic and crass (it is) but most of the time I'm already thinking on what inane answer I could give to a serious conversation, just for kicks.

Idiotic is sometimes fun, and idiotic is sometimes exactly what we need. The men in my family have given me quite an example. My little brother, my husband and my uncles are masters at comedic relief.

I used to roll my eyes any time one of them would meet another because it was time for me to listen to them screech like monkeys or start talking with what my Hispanic family considers a French accent in order to mispronounce words as bah-giiit and sacriih bloh!

It used to drive me crazy and I often felt I was surrounded by children. Well, with time I realized I was actually surrounded by a group of well rounded adults. People with whom you can have really insightful conversations and people you could talk to when you needed honest advice. They were adults living adult lives and some times, for five minutes or ten, they would decide to ditch any pretension of seriousness and laugh at themselves and at each other.

Once I understood that, I realized I did not have to be the "older sister" all the time. Sometimes I've chosen to become the comedic relief of my own conversations and sometimes I talk to myself and laugh out loud. I gave myself permission to be a little more ridiculous if that is what I feel like and for that I thank that group of silly monkeys in my life.